tickle fight!

I try to write about ideas more than things or people. But sometimes I get lazy and cheat, and give expressive details about desire (an idea?) for things or people. Every summer I go through a wild phase (I at least think it is limited to the summer). Maybe because I am a summer baby. That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it. But most seasons, I am perfectly happy reading, writing, watching movies, or making cute but relatively useless things with my hands, meeting friends for coffee, and surveying all things arty. In the summer, I feel antsy, hedonistic, drink much more than I ought to drink, have no use for sustenance, and treat everyone as though they are mine. Essentially, in the summer time, I am the annoying neighbor kid at the door, wanting to play while my friend is still finishing up supper. Except maybe more Dionysian in spirit. Like times ten.

In the spirit of summer and wildness and my aptly named blog, here is something entertaining (for the boys and/or pervs and/or anyone) that I found while testing a new search engine using my blog name as the search term. It’s hil-ar-i-ous. Enjoy! And let me know if you try this amazing protocol and maybe I will too. Hint: do not stick your finger in my ear, EVER.

From: “yaritai”
Newsgroups: alt.seduction.fast
Subject: Identyfing Her Desires 1 (Making Your First Move Easy) – The Tickle Fight
Date: Wed, 20 Dec 2000 13:21:32 +0900

Tickle fights:

In my experience, the tickle fight is a situation where there is implied
permission/desire for you to make a move.

If she just giggles and moves away and basically refuses to get into it,
then there’s a possibility that she’s not interested, but NOT NECESSARILY!
If that happens, you’ll have to do other things to find out. But if she
turns around and starts tickling you back, then she most definitely wants
you!

Girl tickles you back (more than just a poke) => The girl is definitely
interested in you.
Girl doesn’t tickle you back => The girl may or may not want you.

Do NOT make the mistake of reversing this. For example, the following logic
is WRONG:

Girl is interested => She will tickle you. (No, she may not.)

And never assume: Girl doesn’t tickle back => She’s not interested. (It’s
only possible.)

Just remember that if she gets into a tickle fight, she DOES want you.
Forget the rest.
She is ready to be physical with you. Now, how do you go from tickle to
kiss? Easy as hell!!! Ha ha ha. I now laugh (in a very sad kind of ironic
way) at just how stupid I was in the past.

If you can in any way at all get into a tickle fight near a bed or large
carpeted area, do so.

Tickle her a bit. If she’s ticklish, she’ll laugh and grab her sides a bit.
(If she’s not ticklish, she may not react at all. Keep trying for a bit, but
if she still doesn’t react, it’s no fun and won’t work, so stop or tease her
about being “insensitive”.) Continue unless you get a very bad reaction. If
you try a few times and she continues to retreat, stop and try later, or try
something else. Most likely, she will start tickling back and it’ll escalate
into a full fledged tickle-fight.

This is exactly what you want to happen.

Not only that, but she has now, without using any words, ASKED you to kiss
her!!!

Let her tickle you back a bit, tickle her, etc. and do this for a little
while. Then, after a short while, you reach your arms around her and hold
her hands and arms with one hand, and you tickle her with the other.
Congratulations, you are now hugging her. Not only that, but she is laughing
and loving every minute of it. Can you say “anchor”?

Now, this is where you need a bed (if at all possible) or carpeted floor.
After a bit of this, if you really get her tickled, her knees will buckle,
and she will fall to the floor. (Don’t let go, you caveman!) Gently fall
with her and lower her to the floor and relent just a little. Give her some
space and time to recover a bit and catch her breath. (If she doesn’t fall
to the floor/bed, see below for.)

Now, the moment of truth. If she comes back at you in any way whatsoever,
you grab her, throw her down on the bed or floor (gently, of course), but
while she’s on her back, you then climb aboard and hold her wrists down. If,
at this point, she’s still smiling and enjoying the fight, you are so in, it
’s not funny. If she loses the smile then, I don’t know. (It’s never
happened to me).

If you’re lucky, she’ll reach up with her feet to get your head. This means
you have to bring your head all the way down, almost to the point where you
are kissing her. Don’t kiss her yet though. Let the sexual tension build, a
LITTLE. Tease her. Blow in her face a bit. Hold both hands with one, and
tickle very lightly with the other. Stick your finger in her ear. Rub her
nose with yours. Here, you can even kiss her on the cheek, in a
playful/non-sexual way. It doesn’t matter! Act 10 years old. Laugh. Tell her
she’s sooooooo cute when she’s helpless. It’s fun! Just be playful, and do
NOT hurt her.

The point is to make her feel good, while increasing frustration and sexual
tension. Then, after a bit of this, change your expression to a more sexual,
serious one, (she’ll probably do the same), gaze into her eyes and bring
your face close to hers. Then, kiss her. She gave you permission 20 minutes
ago!