Twits
Out of all ridiculous online social network crap sites, twitter wins, hands down. For this reason alone:
I am a gift, why don’t you open me?
I am waiting for my friend to get here so she can duct tape me (it is less exciting than it sounds). In the meantime, here are some of my top rated songs (for today):
The Penalty – Beirut
I Know – Fiona Apple
Too Late – M83
Tell Him – Lauryn Hill
Let it Die – Feist
Gigantic – The Pixies
Pas Encore – Pomplamoose
Be Mine – Robyn
There There – Radiohead
Some of these won’t ever die. That is just the way it is. Some music is more familiar than my reflection.
The Tragic Spontaneous Ego Death of AH
I realize that I am not the first person in the world to go through an existential crisis. However, trying to learn about and read up on the different components of one is proving to be a crisis of its own. Particularly challenging and confusing is the concept of ego death. Online resources are so watered down, biased, and incomplete. I think I will spend some time looking at real books when I am at the library this weekend. I miss you, large reference books!
Here is an over-generalized wiki description:
Ego death is an experience that reveals the illusory aspect of the ego, sometimes undergone by psychonauts, mystics, shamans, monks, psychologists, and others interested in exploring the depths of the mind.
The practice of ego death as a deliberately sought “mystical experience” in some ways overlaps, but is nevertheless distinct from, traditional teachings concerning enlightenment/”Nirvana” (in Buddhism) or “Moksha” (in Hinduism), which might perhaps be better understood as transcendence of the notion that one even has any actual, non-illusory “ego” with which to experience “death” in the first place. Sometimes the ego death is triggered without the subject’s desire. This can be a very traumatic and psychologically damaging event for some, and should be approached with caution.
The most direct means of accomplishing the mystical experience of ego death may be through the use of mind expanding substances, such as psychedelics such as LSD, DMT, DPT, DXM, psilocybin, mescaline, nitrous oxide, Lysergic acid amide, Cannabis and Salvia. Many other methods, practices, or experiences may also induce this state, including prayer, sacred ritual, sleep deprivation, fasting, and meditation practice. Less frequently, it might also come about spontaneously or “of its own accord” (as a symptom of certain mental illnesses, or in response to severe trauma).
I am mostly interested in the way the mind can figuratively split in half, causing an altered perception that really messes with your waking life/reality/sense of self. I think this is what happens when people develop schizophrenia later in life.
I should have paid more attention in Abnormal Psychology. I blame my cute professor.
And what is a psychonaut and how can I be one?
Should I stop watching Salad Fingers?
The Apartment
Love attacked
then retreated
a trace of lavender frost
Walls heave closer
Floors crippled
chipped by weighty sludge of longing and despair
Wide-eyed rigid nights
Dimness made stark
through sensitive eyes and crushed temples
Blanketed in the cold sweat of Alone
Distant howls echo through hollow halls within
Stomach vacant
sour with worry
No exits in these clenched fists
All that is left
is the taste of betrayal
the irrelevance of solitude
the futility of housing a ghost
the puckered sag of a three day old balloon
No goal, no purpose
But to descend
“Friends”
The pervatasaurus video led me to a strange, yet amazing phenomenon (via a reference made by my brother) that goes by the name of Salad Fingers. I had no idea. I overuse the word amazing, but I can’t think of a better word. Creepy? But creepy in an amazing way.
Here is the summary of the animation, created by David Firth (by Wikipedia):
In the surreal cartoons, the eponymous Salad Fingers inhabits a desolate, sparsely populated post-apocalyptic world in which he revels in the delightful feeling of the textures of various objects on his “salad fingers”. He enjoys rusty articles (especially spoons) and derives similar pleasure from experiencing pain. He appears to enjoy meeting new people, though many of his acquaintances are simply avatars (such as finger puppets including Hubert Cumberdale, Jeremy Fisher, and Marjory Stewart-Baxter) for which he provides voice.
The eerie music featured in the background is the tune “Beware the Friendly Stranger” by Boards of Canada. The dark music in the soundtrack that appears when Salad Fingers is scared is actually Firth playing the guitar, slowed down and reversed. Other music included in Salad Fingers episodes includes work credited to Brian Eno, Sigur Rós and Aphex Twin. David Firth frequently inserts references to Aphex Twin in his flash cartoons; for example, the Aphex Twin logo can be found on the telephone in Salad Fingers episode five. Firth has also cited the works of David Lynch, South Park, Tim Burton, The League of Gentlemen and Chris Morris as sources of inspiration.
I am now kind of obsessed with Salad Fingers. Join me.


